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from Fictional Stories of a Repaired Youth

“I need you to call your grandfather and tell him that if your mother wants you for Thanksgiving, she will have to come and get you.”, a deep-voiced man commanded of his preteen child.

The tween responds, with a confused expression on their face, “Isn't that indirect communication?”

“I don't think it is.”

Lucy steps in front of the tween and speaks up, “If it is coming out of your mouth, and intended to be heard by...”, she hesitates for a moment, “...their mother, it's indirect communication.” The tween smiles, as Lucy speaks in an equally powerful and deep, but brighter voice. “It doesn't matter how many hops are between you and her.”

“Who the fuck are you?”, the man exclaims.

Lucy slowly approaches the man, backing him into the corner of the kitchen.

“𐑛𐑧𐑛𐑯𐑱𐑥, get your BB gun!”

The tween snerks.

“I'm serious!”

Lucy leans toward the man and whispers “I am your only offspring.” The man stammers out, in terrified befuddlement, “What is tha-...?”, but he is interrupted by a shout, “Don't use your child for inter-parental politics!”

Lucy takes a step back, turns around, and approaches the tween. The tween runs up to her and hugs her tightly, closing their eyes just as tight.

When the tween opens their eyes, they find themself hugging not but the air.

 
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from Spam Mail

From: Sara Gre <sara5239gre@gmail.com> Sent: 4 June, 2024 17:28 To: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Subject: SEO Packages.///


Hello,

We have a team of 135+ highly qualified IT professionals who are certified in “Google Ad words” and “ISO standards” providing a wide range of online marketing services in order to generate higher visitor traffic to your website. This ensures that your website gets higher rankings on the search engine pages.

We offer the following Services: -

  1. SEO (SEO, PPC)
  2. SMO (Facebook Marketing, Twitter Marketing, LinkedIn Marketing etc.)
  3. Link Building Services.
  4. Content Writing
  5. E-commerce Solutions
  6. Web Design & Development
  7. Graphic Design
  8. App Development (Android and iOS)

If you are interested, (please share your project requirements) then I can send you our past work details, company information and an affordable quotation with the best offer.

Best Regards, Sara Business Development Executive


From: Sara Gre <sara5239gre@gmail.com> Sent: 8 June, 2024 21:02 To: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Subject: Re: SEO Packages.///


Hi,

I am wondering if you got a chance to review my previous email regarding SEO outsourcing. Let me know if you are interested, I will send you our SEO Packages and price list.

Best Regards, Sara Business Development Manager


From: Sara Gre <sara5239gre@gmail.com> Sent: 13 June, 2024 07:09 To: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Subject: Re: SEO Packages.///


Hello,

I Hope you are doing great.

Any update if you're interested? I will send you our SEO Packages and price list.

Best Regards, Sara Business Development Manager


From: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Sent: 30 June, 2024 01:09 To: Sara Gre <sara5239gre@gmail.com> Subject: Re: SEO Packages.///


Bonjour,

I hope you are doing horribly.

I don't need any SEO or whatever the heck you're peddling. What “ISO standards” are you even “certified” in!? Like, ISO 15445:2000? Has literally anyone ever used ISO HTML!?

Seeing as this is already your third email, any additional emails you send me, you will be billed for the storage & bandwidth at double-rate.

Eat my panties, Lucy Singer


 
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from Fictional Stories of a Repaired Youth

A young child sits at their desk on the first day of some year of grade school. They're staring down at the assigned introduction sheet in frustration – they cannot answer the question “Who is your hero? Why?”.

“Davey Havok”, says Lucy.

“Who?”, responds the child, startled. “Both you, and... whoever you just said.”

“Davey Havok. He's a straight-edge vegan punk singer...”

The child stares blankly at the adult stranger that nobody else seems to be acknowledging.

Lucy cuts herself off, “You know that song, Miss Murder, that you like to play on Guitar Hero: On Tour on your DS?”

The child continues to stare at Lucy, failing to hide their awe (and fear).

“He sings it.”, Lucy stammers, as she pulls out a BlackBerry Torch 9800 and proceeds to show the child a photo of Davey Havok from the 2006 MTV Movie Awards, “And he looks like this.”

The child barely glances at the photo before they exclaim, “I want to look like him!”

Lucy flashes a burdened smile in response.

“How do you spell his name?”

“D-A-V-E-Y space H-A-V-O-K.”

“And, other than being pretty and singing the only good song on Guitar Hero: On Tour, why is he... our hero?”

“He's anti-drugs... and vegan... and-”

They cut her off, “What does that mean? Vegan?”

“He does not eat meat or use animal products like leather.”

“Mhm.”

“And he's a really really good singer.”

The child writes their response to the question, “Davey Havok. He is a really good singer, and he is against drugs, and he does not use animal products. And he is very pretty and I want to look like him one day.”

Just as the child finishes writing, Lucy says “We take his surname one day.” But when the child looks back up to respond, the stranger is nowhere to be seen.

 
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from Spam Mail

From: Raunki Taws <tawsraunki610@gmail.com> Sent: 10 June, 2024 09:02 To: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Subject: Work Together, Please :Web design, development⚡


Hi there,

I represent a Website Development Company comprising over 45 experienced IT professionals proficient. I saw your website and noticed that it has the potential for a fresh look. in order for people's attraction to rise.

  1. Website Designing
  2. Website development
  3. UX & UI design,
  4. Graphic Design,
  5. E-Commerce solutions,
  6. PHP Development.
  7. mobile apps development (IOS& Android)

May I know if you are interested in any of these services?

Let me know if you are looking for any kind of website for your business or send me any reference website, I will forward you our price & Samples accordingly.

Best regards, Raunki Taws Business Development Executive


From: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Sent: 20 June, 2024 00:24 To: Raunki Taws <tawsraunki610@gmail.com> Subject: Re: Work Together, Please :Web design, development⚡


Greetings here,

I agree, it does need an overhaul. But I'm a busy girl with busy... girl things to do, and updating my site is so low in priority on my list of tasks.

I'm not interested, however, in any services you're offering. As the saying goes, if you want anything done right, you have to do it yourself. So that is what I will (continue) to do – do it myself.

Do not mail me again, or I will bill you for the bandwidth & storage cost of your spam mail.

Worst regards, Lucy Osmond Amateur Faggot


 
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from Spam Mail

From: <kentangkenaga@gmail.com> Sent: Thursday, 30 May, 2024 18:06 To: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Subject: naln1thevampire, AMAZING


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From: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Sent: Wednesday, 5 June, 2024 15:52 To: <kentangkenaga@gmail.com>, <socialinstamax@gmail.com> Subject: Re: naln1thevampire, AMAZING


Hi , InstamediaMAX

I don't want any Instagram followers. In fact, I'm actively trying to get banned from Instagram.

The link you provided has already been disabled by Linktree “due to a breach of our Community Standards.”

Additionally, I have no money to spend frivolously on social media followers anyway. However, if you mail me again, I will charge you for the bandwidth & storage costs of all your mail.

Fuck you, Regardless, lucy@naln1.ca

Copyright © 2024 Naln1 & Angelstrapped.com. All Rights Reserved.

 
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from Spam Mail

From: Isabella Davies <isabellaavadavies@gmail.com> Sent: Friday, 10 November, 2023 03:24 To: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Subject: Trustpilot Review Upgrade 🚀


Greetings💥

Trust this message finds you in good health. We are a team of freelancers with an expertise in review services While exploring Trustpilot, we came across your profile and felt compelled to reach out. We specialize in providing high-quality review services and we are passionate about aiding you in enhancing your business's reputation by generating authentic positive reviews on Trustpilot and other relevant platforms such as Clutch, Goodfirms, Yelp and Google My Business. If you have any questions or need additional information, please don't hesitate to contact us We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Warm regards!


From: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Sent: Saturday, 25 November, 2023 01:56 To: Isabella Davies <isabellaavadavies@gmail.com> Subject: Re: Trustpilot Review Upgrade 🚀


Två tre 💥

Trust this message finds you in bad health. Good for you. Okay. What do you mean by “authentic”? You appear to be implying posting false reviews to my now defunct Trustpilot page? Please hesitate to contact me. If you contact me again, I will bill you for the bandwith and storage of your frivolous emails. I look forward to my future without you.

Cold disregards!


 
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from Spam Mail

From: Ritik <ritiksharma5426@gmail.com> Sent: Thursday, 23 November, 2023 06:28 To: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Subject: Question About Your website!!!


Hi,

My name is Ritik , I am a SEO Manager.

I wanted to reach out because I have an Free Audit of your website that reports on the key areas that Google identifies as the main reasons you're probably missing out on a lot of leads.

Are you the right person to send this report to?

If you are, please reply to this email and I'll send it over to you.

Many thanks, Ritik,


From: daviander <daviandersaini0966@gmail.com> Sent: Thursday, 23 November, 2023 07:26 To: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Subject: Question About Your website!!!


Hi,

My name is daviander, I am a SEO Manager.

I wanted to reach out because I have an Free Audit of your website that reports on the key areas that Google identifies as the main reasons you're probably missing out on a lot of leads.

Are you the right person to send this report to?

If you are, please reply to this email and I'll send it over to you.

Many thanks, daviander,


From: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Sent: Thursday, 23 November, 2023 21:36 To: Ritik <ritiksharma5426@gmail.com> Subject: Re: Question About Your website!!!


Hello Ritik, SEO manager,

My name is Lucy, and I am a goth girl who happens to also run my own web server.

You do? My Google Webmaster panel tends to give me information I need, but now I'm curious.

Indeed, I am. However, I don't understand why you couldn't simply send it in your first message? It's not like there's anything sensitive in there, right? <.< Additionally, I received an email from one Daviander <daviandersaini0966@gmail.com> that is almost the exact same as yours. Are you associates? <.<

I don't understand why you're thanking me, Lucy,


From: Lucy <lucy@naln1.ca> Sent: Thursday, 23 November, 2023 21:36 To: daviander <daviandersaini0966@gmail.com> Subject: Re: Question About Your website!!!


Hello Daviander, SEO manager,

My name is Lucy, and I am a goth girl who happens to also run my own web server.

You do? My Google Webmaster panel tends to give me information I need, but now I'm curious.

Indeed, I am. However, I don't understand why you couldn't simply send it in your first message? It's not like there's anything sensitive in there, right? <.< Additionally, I received an email from one Ritik <ritiksharma5426@gmail.com> that is almost the exact same as yours. Are you associates? <.<

I don't understand why you're thanking me, Lucy,


 
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